


A Lesson in Kneazle Care

by escape_chan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, M/M, Naruto Magic Week 2019, Pre-Relationship, Swearing, kakuhidasaso, magical au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 18:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19706881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escape_chan/pseuds/escape_chan
Summary: Kakuzu has purchased a purebred kneazle with the intent of breeding it and selling the kittens. Unfortunately for him, his kneazle is attracted to the stray cat Hidan found and brought to school with him and ruins any plans he had.





	A Lesson in Kneazle Care

**Author's Note:**

> For the Naruto Magic Week Prompt - Fantastic Beasts and Familiars 
> 
> Please note- Sasori, Kakuzu and Hidan have been aged down in order to be students.
> 
> I'm also on tumblr, come by and say hello: [writing-escapes](https://writing-escapes.tumblr.com/)

“Your cat is fucking crazy looking.” Hidan said as he looked across at the huge, weird looking long haired black cat that sat on Kakuzu's bed. It had ears almost like a fox, and the face was not quite a cats face, there was too much intelligence in the eyes and Hidan half expected it to start talking. It creeped him out and seemed to know it as it starred right into his eyes. 

“It’s not a cat, dumbass. YenYen is a purebred kneazle, don’t you know anything?” Kakuuz told him, rolling his eyes in irritation, “Do you have to take the bed right next to mine?” 

“Of course I have to take this bed, I wanna annoy you all year long again.” He eyed Kakuzu’s kneazle, “That doesn’t look like a kneazle… are you sure it’s one? I thought they were… I dunno, smaller? Bigger? Shit, I don’t know what they look like. But hey! I got a cat this year! Meet Smokey!” Not waiting for a response he reached down and released his own cat from the carrier and out walked what Kakuzu thought must have come from a back alley somewhere.

With a smirk, Kakuzu asked, “Where did you find that? In a dumpster?” The cat was filthy and Kakuzu was sure he saw fleas jumping off of it, he could not even tell what color it was supposed to be. There was a scar above one eye, and an ear had a cut on it. It suited Hidan in a way though. 

“Fuck you! I didn’t find it in a dumpster!” Hidan looked away and reached down to pet his cat, “I found it… behind some shops… next to a trashcan…” He scratched the cat under it’s chin and smiled when he heard it begin to purr and then jumped up onto his bed. “Who cares where it came from? He likes me!” 

Kakuzu breathed out loudly through his nose, “Just keep that thing away from my kneazle. I don’t want her ruined by that street cat of yours.”

Hidan ignored him and took out his wand, “Alright… let’s get you cleaned up!” 

“What are you-”

Making a graceful motion with his wand, which always caught Kakuzu off guard no matter how many times he had seen him do it, Hidan said, “Scourgify!”

“Made a mess in here already have you?” A familiar voice asked, “Poor animal… what have you done to it?”

“Welcome back, Sas.” Hidan said as he looked up to see the judgmental brown eyes of Sasori looking at him.

Sasori just looked at him a moment before turning to Kakuzu, “He finally got himself a familiar.” 

“From a dumpster.” 

“Figures.” Sasori walked over to the nearest bed and set his things down on it, “So, here we are. All together again.”

“Here we are.” Kakuzu repeated as he lifted his kneazle into his arms, “Let’s try not to get expelled this year. _Hidan_ .”

Two sets of eyes looked over at Hidan who was busy snuggling his freshly cleaned cat, which Kakuzu noticed was light grey with stripes.

“Hey! It wasn’t my idea to go into the Forbidden Forest!”

“Um, yes, actually. It was.” Sasori told him as he unpacked his things and neatly put them all away. They looked at the fourth bed, and wondered who might take it this year, if anyone. With the previous occupant having been expelled the year before, and all the blame placed on Kakuzu, Sasori and Hidan, no one seemed to want to share a dorm with them. They didn’t mind, in fact they hoped no one would want to take that bed. 

A large shape swam past the underwater window and they all three turned to see what it was, but it was too dark. They knew all sorts of creatures lurked in the depths of the lake, and sometimes saw some of them. Grindylows especially liked to tap on the windows at night, trying to scare the sleeping students. It worked on most of the first years but not on sixth years. 

They turned away from the window, whatever had been there was now gone and it was getting late. Sasori went to brush his teeth, and get ready for bed while Kakuzu and Hidan unpacked their trunks and put all their clothes and school supplies away where they belonged.

* * *

“Hidan!!” Kakuzu shouted as he entered the great hall during dinner on a cold, early winters night, “I’m going to fucking kill you!!” 

Anyone who would have been in his way moved upon seeing the murderous look in his eyes, Kakuzu had a reputation for having a terrible temper. There was even a rumor about how he nearly killed someone during a quidditch game, some versions said he did kill someone, others claimed Hidan helped. Most students did not believe it, though it was partly true. 

“Oh shit.” Hidan mumbled, the bite he just took out of the of meat pastry falling from his mouth onto the floor.

“What did you do this time?” Sasori wanted to know.

“I swear I didn’t do anything!” Hidan dropped the rest of the pastry and jumped over the table just as Kakuzu nearly reached him. He considered running down the aisle but wanted more than a single table between him and Kakuzu so he then jumped over the next table, using Itachi as leverage. Hidan landed a foot in someone’s bowl of stew before he jumped off the other side. He ran faster than he ever ran in his life as Kakuzu had decided to follow and jumped over the tables after him, knocking people's plates away and stepping on someone's hand in the process.

Kakuzu chased him out of the great hall and down the hallways, up the stairs, not at all paying attention to where Hidan was leading him until they came to a door. Hidan pounded on it, while Kakuzu pointed his wand at him, a deep crease between his green eyes.

“What the fuck man?!” Hidan screeched, “I didn’t do anything! I swear!”

“I warned you!”

“Warned me about what?!”

“Keeping that street cat away from my kneazle!”

“Huh?”  
  
The door swung open, Hidan who had been leaning on it lost his balance and went sprawling on the floor. Kakuzu looked up to find the unforgiving stare of Professor Minato Namikaze. 

“What is going on out here?” He demanded, “Slytherins… why am I not surprised.”  
  
“He’s trying to fucking kill me!” Hidan shouted.

“Hidan, watch your language!” Professor Namikaze turned to Kakuzu, “You have your wand raised at a professor. I suggest you put it away unless you want to find yourself on the next train home.” 

Kakuzu lowered his wand, the glowing tip fading, and then in a flash his wand was taken from him and in Minato’s hands.

“Now, you’re going to tell me what’s going on.” 

“His stupid, common alley cat has gotten my kneazle pregnant!” Kakuzu shouted, “I was going to breed her with another purebred kneazle and sell the kittens! Now I can’t! I needed that money! He doesn't understand! I’m going to fucking kill-” Suddenly Kakuzu’s mouth wouldn’t open.

“All this over a kneazle and some money? First of all, magical creatures should not be exploited for money!” Minato shook his head, “Secondly, you should have done your part so she couldn’t find any other cats to breed with, or perhaps you should have left it at home. It’s not Hidan’s fault she took a liking to his cat.” 

At that, Hidan smirked from where he was still on the floor behind the professor. 

“Kakuzu, a month of detention with Professor Tsunade.”

Hidan suddenly burst out laughing hysterically at Kakuzu’s horrified face. Minato then turned on him.

“Oh, you think I’ve forgotten about you? You’re going to join him. You should have kept a better eye on your own cat, and besides, the two of you should learn to get along and stop trying to kill each other every chance you get. You're in the same house yet always at each others throats.” 

“Detention?! But I didn’t do anything!” Hidan argued.

“Don’t think I believe that for a second. You may not have had a hand in this mess, but you’re not innocent. It’s a wonder you two are still allowed to attend here. If it were up to me, well... but it's not.” Minato stepped over Hidan’s body, “Now out. And if there’s any more attempted murder, you’ll regret it. Oh, and I’m deducting five hundred points from Slytherin. _Each!”_

Hidan got to his feet and stepped back into the hall and the door was shut in their faces.

“Now look what you’ve done!” Hidan complained, “You got us detention for a month and we just lost our house five hundred points from both of us! That’s… uh...”

Glad to find he could talk once more, Kakuzu said, “That’s a thousand points, since apparently you can’t do basic math. Let’s go.” He grabbed Hidan by the back of his robes and turned him around, took two steps and stopped, “My wand. He’s still got my wand!”

“Shit…”

Kakuzu walked back over to the professor’s door and knocked loudly twice. The door opened and Minato raised a brow in question.

“My wand.” Kakuzu said, not even asking, “I need it back.”

“You had it pointed at a fellow student and then at me, a professor. You’re not getting it back anytime soon. Now go.” He shut the door and Kakuzu turned angry eyes on Hidan.

“This is your fault!”

“It’s not! Your kneazle is just a slut for my studly cat.” Hidan grinned, “Is she really pregnant with my cat’s kittens?”

“Yes.” Kakuzu groaned, “And I'm not exploiting her! I love YenYen. I was only going to breed her once. Is that so wrong?”

Hidan simply shrugged his shoulders, “Professor Namikaze thinks so. Were you really going to kill me back there?”

“Of course not. I was just going to hurt you a bit, you'd have enjoyed it I'm sure.”

Hidan felt his cheeks flush, so Kakuzu knew about that but before he could say anything, his fellow Slytherin was complaining about the loss of his wand.

"Hey, Kakuzu," Hidan started with a sly look, "I've got a wand you can use if you want."  
  
Not picking up on what Hidan meant, Kakuzu turned to him, "You do? Where? Give it to me."  
  
"Sure, you want it? I'll be happy give it to you. Just reach into my pants!" Hidan laughed obnoxiously loud, enjoying the look on Kakuzu's face when he realized there was no actual extra wand.

* * *

It took several weeks but Kakuzu finally forgave Hidan when he saw him laying across his bed while gently brushing YenYen, a book on kneazle care was held in his free hand, with quite a few pages folded down. Kakuzu was touched and sat on the edge of the bed across from him and ran his hand lightly over the growing belly of his kneazle. As he did so, his fingers brushed against Hidan’s and they stayed there. Under their fingers, inside YenYen's belly, they could feel the kittens move.

Hidan's eyes were on Kakuzu the entire time but he refused to look at Hidan and slowly, Hidan pulled his hand away. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while until Kakuzu decided to lay down as well, the animal between them. He looked at Hidan who was actually reading. He wasn’t unattractive when he was quiet. Kakuzu wished he would be quiet more often, he liked him best that way. And the book certainly helped, he looked good with a book.

“So, I get to be the dad, right?” Hidan asked after a while, setting the book aside.

“What?” Kakuzu blinked, “No. I’m the father. You’re the… uncle.”  
  
“No way! I get to be co-father. My cat's the father of these babies, I'm not getting stuck with being the uncle.”  
  
“Can I be the godfather?” Sasori asked as he walked in and dropped his books on his bed before taking a place at the foot of Kakuzu's bed, “It sounds better than 'uncle'.”

Sasori let his head rest against Hidan's shoulder while his feet brushed against Kakuzu's long legs, firmly enough that Kakuzu knew it was completely intentional. Kakuzu glanced down at him. Over the weeks they cared for the pregnant kneazle, something had changed between them, though nothing happened beyond a touch here and there that could be mistaken as nothing more than friendship. But when it came to Sasori and Kakuzu, Hidan knew it was more than friendship, though he didn't say anything about it, happy to take whatever small pieces of affection they were willing to give.  
  
“Fine.” Kakuzu said and pointed at Sasori, “Godfather,” he then pointed at Hidan, “Co-father. And I’m the main father.”  
  
“The main father.” Hidan laughed, “That sounds ridiculous. We’re just the fathers. How about that?”  
  
“Whatever, it's silly. We're not actually the fathers.” Kakuzu then moved to sit up and he took Sasori's hand, “Sasori. I want you to feel something.”

Sasori narrowed his eyes and was about to say something when Kakuzu put his hand on YenYen's belly to feel the kittens move and his eyes went wide. Kakuzu let his hand stay on tops of Sasori's for several moments before moving it away. 

"This is amazing." Sasori said softly, his feet pressing into Kakuzu's legs once more.

* * *

Two months since Kakuzu had discovered his kneazle became pregnant, she made a nest under Hidan’s bed one morning and Kakuzu knew she was getting ready to have her litter. He couldn’t help but be a little jealous that she chose Hidan’s bed and not his, and considered trying to move her but when he reached in to grab one of the towels she had drug into her nest, he got scratched.

Looking around for Hidan and Sasori only to find they must have gone to breakfast, he ran to go get them. 

He found Hidan stuffing his mouth full of meat filled pastries while his plate was filled with bacon and sausages and a single grape. ‘They told me I needed to eat some fruit and vegetables or I might have health problems later.’ Is what he had said when Sasori questioned the single green bean on his plate a few nights earlier.

“Hidan, Sasori!” Kakuzu shouted, “It’s happening! She’s finally having her kittens!”  
  
“Ooh, I’m going to be a godfather! I must witness this moment.” Sasori said, sounding excited and put his fork down as he got up from the table, abandoning his meal.

“And I’m gonna be a father!!” Hidan shouted, “I’m a fuckin’ father!! Can you believe that shit?!”  
  
“What the hell? Who would have sex with you?” One of the Ravenclaw girls, Konan, scoffed.

“It’s not a girl! It’s my cat!” Hidan told her which made everyone who had overheard laugh.

“Hidan, I'm pretty sure that’s against the law.” Konan told him and laughed.

“How is it against the law? Kakuzu is also the father. Sasori is the godfather. We’re-”

“Come on! We're going to miss it!” Kakuzu grabbed him by the hand and yanked him out of the great hall as laughter erupted behind them, and down to their dorm. 

The three boys sat on the floor watching the kneazle under the bed. Hidan’s cat, Smokey, paced the room, seemingly anxious for his offspring to be born. 

“So how long is this going to take?” Sasori asked.

“However long it takes, why? You have somewhere more important to be?” Kakuzu asked.

“No. I’m simply excited to become a godfather and I don’t want to be kept waiting much longer.” 

It wasn’t long before the first kitten was born, and Hidan grasped Kakuzu’s hand, linking their fingers and squeezing tightly while Sasori leaned up against Kakuzu's other side, his hand on his shoulder. They watched as four more kittens were born, all of them with dark grey fur except one that was orange and white.

"Kakuzu... I think there must be another father somewhere." Hidan pointed out, and then he thought about something for a moment. "I bet she knew about your stupid money making scheme and did this on purpose." 

Kakuzu pet YenYen on the head and smiled, squeezing Hidan's hand and leaning into Sasori, "Maybe she did. I'll find some other way to make money. I'm not selling a single kitten." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and would love to hear from you if you did!


End file.
